Forwarded Conversation - Subject: I need your help!

Most people think I don't do much at work. Uhhh... so wrong. Today I helped thwart a Nigerian scammer in Scotland.

Back story: Boss got an email from a friend's old (pre-marriage) email address - the same scam some doucher tried to pull on my Facebook friends a few months ago. Because he (nor I) have anything better to do, he decided to play along. I helped a little bit, but mostly sat around giggling uncontrollably. Shit got serious. And he gave me permission to repost the entire conversation so the world (or all four followers) can really see what exactly we do all day... so read on and prosper, my friends.

Nigerian Prince, 11:09 AM

I had a trip to Scotland on a short vacation but it was tough for mecos I was mugged at a gun point and all valuable things got stolen. Idon't know what to do right now cos the authorities are not being 100%supportive but the good thing is that I still have my passport butdon't have enough money to get back home and pay for the hotel billsand the hotel manager won't let me leave until I settle the bills.I need your help with some loan (1,550Pounds) equivalent to 2,450 USdollars. It has really been embarrassing for me as I have nothing onme now.

Boss, 11:20 AM

Oh my God! Terrible! How can I get you the money!?

Nigerian Prince, 11:29 AM

I'm glad to hear back from you and I really appreciate the fact that you are trying to help me out of my huge mess. Thank God I still have my passport with me so you can wire the money to me on my name VIA MONEYGRAM TRANSFER.
Here are the details needed to send the money to me:

Name: Nigerian Prince
City: Scotland
Country: United Kingdom

Please attach the payment slip via email or you can send me the information you used to send the money including the MTCN control Number.I will surely refund the money when I return.

Boss, 11:48 AM

Ok! I can send the money immediately but I need to know a few things first.Which account should I take the money out of? You know how crazy the boss's accountant can be. Are you sure that's enough money to get you home? We just closed on that deal, so there's plenty for now.

Nigerian Prince, 11:51 AM

Yes, am Okay with the few $$ and I need your quick response

Boss, 12:05 PM

OK I sent the moneygram. I can't find that MCTN number or whatever it was you called it. Where is that on the receipt? Just keep in mind that the boss will need an explanation for where that money went when you get back to town. You are bringing back the package, right? Nikki Snarks is all set to push.

Nigerian Prince, 12:20 PM

Don't worry about boss I will explain better when I return and am sorry for the stress that I have been putting you through but I can't cash the money here in Scotland without the full details from the MONEYGRAM. You have to get back to me with the full details including the confirmation number.

I keep waiting in the library.

Boss, 12:32 PM

Oh, right, "the library". I forgot that boss prefers little code words when we're emailing. Well, I sent the money via MONEYGRAM and the confirmation code is "bazooka penis" (if you know what I mean wink wink)Hit me back if you understand, Ms. Comeford.Boss wanted me to add that if you're not back by the scheduled drop, you might as well stay in Scotland. Ha, what a card he is!

Nigerian Prince, 12:39 PM

This is not clear!! cos you still need to send the confirmation number to me....with it transaction is complete.

Boss, 1:00 PM

Good, you passed the test. Boss said you might just be trying to rip me off, but I knew it was you all along Lowdangler! The confirmation code is: "delta, juliet, criminey, alpha, alpha, velociraptor, bravo, zulu, whiskey, 12789, rape, Michael Douglas".Do you copy, Lowdangler? Awaiting confirmation...Maverick out.

Boss, 1:28 PM

Was the transaction successful? Do you need further clarification? Lowdangler, have you been compromised? Please advise. Boss online now, awaiting confirmation and expected delivery.

(Conversation then turned to Gmail chat, hence no timestamps.)

Boss: Nigerian Prince - boss is telling me to cancel it. Please respond before 1400 EST to avoid cancellation.

Nigerian Prince: the confirmation number was wrong

Nigerian Prince: please resend it ...

Boss: OK I guess you guys changed the code without telling me. I rechecked what I sent and it was accurate, Ghostrider.

Boss: Goose tells me the updated coding would work as follows for your confirmation code:

Boss: D

Boss: 3

Boss: 7

Boss: 7

Boss: G

Boss: 6

Boss: 1

Boss: 2

Boss: 1

Boss: 9

Boss: D

Boss: O

Boss: N

Boss: G

Boss: B

Boss: 4

Boss: 5

Boss: T

Boss: 3

Boss: R

Boss: Did this properly transmit? Please advise.

Nigerian Prince: yes

Nigerian Prince: I need to move down to the bank right now

Nigerian Prince: talk to you later

Boss: Wait.

Boss: More code. From the boss.

Nigerian Prince: what

Boss: Did you "bludgeon" that woman with the "dildo" per our discussion?

Boss: Well? He needs to know. Do you copy, Maverick?

Nigerian Prince is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when Nigerian Prince comes online.

See? Very important things happen in the gardens, my friends.