A few questions I've been pondering lately... and some answers that may or may not be true.
- Why does hair on the left side of my head grow faster than the hair on the right side?
(Maybe the hairdresser cut it unevenly?)
- Why did I love concerts so much more when I was younger?
(I wasn't jaded.)
- Why do people take myspace pictures in bathrooms?
(Because they're whores.)
- Who is Ted's wife? Is it the blonde girl Barney hired to be his wife?
(Was the kiss for real or was it Ted trying to act?)
- Why is raspberry Stoli so nasty?
(Because cherry Stoli is the fruit of my loins.)
- Should I really get my ear scalpelled? Is it worth doing myself? Do I really have the balls to take a knife to my own ear?
(Yes. No. God no.)
- How delicious would a caramel iced latte taste with Kahlua in it?
(FUCKING DELICIOUS.)
- Why do I park on the street when I have a parking pass for a garage?
(I'm lazy.)
- Why did the state take so little out of my paychecks this year?
(Maybe because I only work 20 hours/week?)
- Why do people continue to drink my beer?
(Because I'm non-confrontational... in person.)
- Will Leonard marry me?
(Leonard doesn't even know your name.)
- Why did the cute indie guy at CVS double-bag my tampons?
(Is he afraid of menstruation... and bears?)
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2 comments:
1.) Because you're right brained?
2.) because you hadn't been to as many, and you probably listened to bands back then that didn't suck like today's does.
3.) because there is generally a mirror in the bathroom
4.) pretty sure it was all an act.
5.) Read it again - Raspberry.... Stoli....
6.) What is scalpelled??? Where on your ear is this done??? I get the whole cut like scalpel... conceptually I'm lost with the rest of it though.
7.) mmmm... I need one of those right now.
8.) because you're dumb. (nothing new)
9.)Is this a bad thing? do you owe?
10.)because they're dumb. (nothing new)
11.) Who's leonard?
12.) Good call, Brick. Maybe it was like the soda bottles he packed them with that made him double bag it.. or maybe he thought they were really heavy and warranted a second bag... or maybe he thought they had already been used and was just being biohazardously(?) friendly.
1) Is that true/does that have an effect?
2) I saw Aaron Carter, New Found Glory and Joan Osborne back then. Pretty sure the bands I see now are a little better...
3) But they're doing the secret internet fatty pose (holding the camera above their head and looking up into it - illusion of slim!)
4) I don't know... I hope so, because I don't like her, but who knows. It makes me sad that when we finally figure out who his wife is, the show will be all over =/
5) But I LIKE Stoli (generally).
6) You know how I have stretched ears? It's when you take a scalpel and slice into the lobe to either stretch larger or redirect your hole...
7) I'm having one for lunch today.
8) yup.
9) I don't know, my taxes aren't done yet. I owed last year... what I got back from regular went to state =/
10) and bitches.
11) Leonard... Big Bang...
12) I still think he was afraid of menstruation.
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