The boy guitar player downstairs needs to learn a new song.
Or perhaps a plethora of new songs.
I don't even know this kid's name or what he looks like, but I do know that his favorite song goes as such: "BUM baBUM baBUM baBUM baBUMBUM." And it's just two chords... ok, not even chords, but power chords. Probably in drop D tuning. And the chords are a 1/2 step away from eachother. And he looooooves his distortion pedal. At least if he had a wa-wa pedal or a whammy bar, he could make it more interesting, but no. It's like listening to the first measure of a Slipknot song over and over and over...
AND I CANNOT HANDLE IT ANYMORE.
He could possibly be the hottest guy in the universe with perfect tattoos and stretched lobes and secretly loves Everclear and Spice Girls and makes a mean Thai red curry and has a 10-inch long penis and I couldn't like him... because of this song. And his room (or wherever he practices said guitar - which I'm guessing is a black beginner knockoff Strat that came in a box with a cheap amp) is right below my room for maximum shitty song hearing power. I tried to drown this out using the How I Met Your Mother theme song, but my itty bitty travel DVD player doesn't go loud enough. I NEED TO SLEEP AND NOT HEAR BUMBABUM OVER AND OVER D=
So, I ask you, devoted readers of my blog (AKA Don), what should be my plan of action?
A) Figure out his name, friend him on Facebook and send him a message with a link to ultimate-guitar.com (guitar and bass tabs).
B) Put a package in his mailbox of printed tabs that I think he should learn (including, but not limited to Cracker, Everclear, and Toto).
C) Knock on their door, introduce myself and ask him if he wants to jam - and teach him songs by Cracker, Everclear and Toto.
D) Knock on their door, introduce myself and bring him beer - hoping that if he's drunk, he won't play the song.
E) Get the fuck over it.
(I like D the best.)
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3 comments:
My issue with option D, is that I don't know too many drunks that get quieter when they're drunk. You never hear the terms "Quiet drunk" -- it's always "Loud drunk".
Option B and C are poor because if he figures out that you're the one that did it, he may end up playing louder. Option E is out of question because you can't even get over the "C" word that I called you ONCE like 4 years ago, there is no way you will let this guitar go away when it's playing every day.
So! I am taking option A because it is the coolest. But I don't think you should go as far as facebook because that would give indication of who you are. Keep it Anonymous. After he's learned to play better, then you proceed with options B through D.
Just my $.02
But perhaps if I get him drunk enough he'll FORGET how to play! My old roommate's boyfriend rapped all the time, but when he got drunk he would forget all the words to his own raps hahaha.
And about the "c" word incident... first of all, it was like less than a year ago. And second, I forgot all about it 'til you said something. But if you WANT me to hold the grudge longer, I most certainly will :P
I have to find out his name. I think the best way of doing this is cornering his cute friend that's always on the porch and asking him/taking advantage of him... you know, the usual...
That is a lie. You remember when it's convenient and forget (like now until I brought it up) when it's inconvenient! and anything beyond last week is four years.
So by cornering his friend basically you're gonna go all Barney on him and seduce him, possibly show him your tee-tahs and more just to get the name of the guy he lives with?
You are not Barney though because Barney would not end up in a relationship with the cute boy living in the same apartment as annoying guitar playing guy, further condemning himself to the tortures that be. Where you... would.
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