esther used to be the type of lover you would never leave... YEAH

Holiday Snark? OH WHY YES VIRGINIA THERE IS A SNARK CLAUS!

1) Oh god, the Christmas music. I've been hearing it since Thanksgiving (care of the therapy department across the hall) and if I heard Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" one more time, I was bound to go crazy. There are only two Christmas songs I can stand/can say I just about ENJOY: "Last Christmas" (more so The Youth Ahead's version, but George Michael is fine as well) and "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which I didn't hear AT ALL this year, aside from the few viewings of "Elf" [LOVE ZOOEY DESCHANEL]). 'Course, Everclear's "Hating You for Christmas" is a perennial fave, but I didn't really have anyone to hate this year so it wasn't quite as fun.

2) I have been going to my grandma's house on Christmas Eve for 21 years now and for those last 21 years I have never eaten the fish (we're pseudo-Italians so my gma makes the seven goddamn fishes). And every year I have to hear "OH MANDY I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE FISH." Yes grandma, yes you do. You're just senile. (For the record, she also made chicken alfredo [with chicken?]).

3) We all know my grandfather died. I'm sure we were all thinking about how much it sucks he wasn't there. But my dad REALLY didn't have to say "Sure wish Poppie was here" in place of the Grace that Poppie always said. (Grieving does not an appetite make.) I also don't want to continue thinking about it all night - I don't like crying when my boyfriend is trying to give me jewelry.

4) My relatives all think it's not safe to travel overseas (these are the same relatives that work for the government). They also think I will never get a job because of my tattoo and that Obama will be assassinated at his inaugeration. OH MY GOD LOOK IN THE SKY THERE'S A PIG AND IT'S FLYING!

5) Continuing on with my clearly off-base relatives... they implemented this rule that only kids under 18 get gifts from aunts/uncles. But they still buy for eachother. This means a) the adults all got gifts; b) my sister (17) and my youngest cousin (16) both got gifts; and c) Sheena, Jimmy and I watched empty-handed while everyone opened said gifts. I don't care what the fuck political party you're in - that's just not right. Because I'm not a minor and/or married, I don't get a present? HAS MY FAMILY NEVER HEARD OF SECRET SANTA? It's not like there's 50 of us... IGDI D=

Happy fucking holidays bitches.



(In good news, my boyfran got me the prettiest necklace EVAR! DIAMONDS ARE MY BEST FRIEND THIS SEALS THE DEAL.)

on hoooooolidayyyy

I now realize that I really, really dislike everything about Florida except for Disney World. Disney is like Mars. You don't go there and realize you're in suckass hot-as-balls slow-paced Florida -- you're on another planet. A swift-moving, thrill-induced colorfuck of a world that can't be considered one of the 50 states of our country. In Disney, the economy doesn't matter. Bills aren't on your mind. You don't worry about who will win the World Series. All that matters is how long the wait time is for Mission: Space and if Test Track is broken or working given the hour of the day.

I really hated Sarasota.

Like, really really. It was washed out, slow-paced and boring. And motherfucking muggy. I mean, it's muggy in upstate NY - but that's only for 3 months. It's muggy 24/7 here. Which means I get all prettyfied, straighten my hair, put on makeup and nice clothes and I walk outside for an hour and come back looking like the living dead. AND I got bitched at by the order taker lady at Burger King (for apparently being a Yank...). OK: When I ask you what's on a burger, and you tell me it's a bun and a hamburger patty like a smartass, and I simply ask if there is MAYONAISE on it, I do NOT appreciate being told "well, you would have found out if you just let me speak." YES I WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT... 2 MINUTES LATER. BECAUSE YOU SPEAK ONE WORD PER SECOND APPARENTLY.

Did I mention I fucking hated Sarasota?

I hope my parents a) don't plan to move down there if/when my sister decides to go to school there and/or b) don't expect me to visit them if they do.

So I'm back in Syracuse, safe and sound. We flew through storms last night and the turbulance on our puddle-jumper plane was ridiculous. I personally thought it was funny - flying doesn't bother me and is much safer than driving, as it is - but some people (namely, my mother, who thought my hand was a stressball) did not.

Jamie and I were supposed to go see Boys Like Girls tonight but we decided eating cake and shooting the shit would be much more fun. And it was. We didn't get stuck in pits of screaming scene girls who only knew "Thunder," we didn't get our ears deafened by the terrible sound system in Goldstein and we had our cake and ate it too. No porn though... but plenty of reminiscing (oh, you wish you knew).

We did bring up a conversation about Halloween though - namely, WHAT THE FUCK SHOULD I BE! I know I'll be going to my piercer's party, which will (most likely) have a zombie theme (it did last year, anyway) and I thought I might bring back my beat-up prostitute costume with a living dead twist.

Or, you know, I can always go as a Sarasotan...

um excuse me you're ugly.

I've been on vacation since Tuesday afternoon and, let me tell you, it's been (mostly) excellent. It's the first vacation I've been on in over a year and the first time I've had more than two consecutive days off from work. Of course I've got no vacation time to use (I should, but that's a whole different story in and of itself) but I don't even care, it's been awesome.

Here was my vacation in list form because I'm too tired and lazy to type everything out:
Tuesday: Drove to Boston! (K, really Needham, but whatever). Checked into a swanky businessy Sheraton with a king-size bed... ohhhh yes.

Wednesday: Joe's company picnic thing in one of Northeastern University's parks. Drank and played ping-pong and ate second-rate catering food. Took the train into Boston, went to Bukoski's Bar to meet up with Scott, had a RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING romantic dinner at a gorgeous Mexican restaurant (that understood mole sauce), went shopping, broke my flip-flop and got blisters on both ankles... boooo.

Thursday: Joe had to "work," so I took two trains and a bus to a mall in Attleboro and didn't get lost or freaked out. Met Joe in the city for a sunset cruise in the harbor.

Friday: Went to Salem! Saw a witch house and a wax museum and ate at Boston (Salem) BeerWorks and had a delicious pumpkin ale (and a not so delicious because it was terribly hoppy Belgian wheat ale). Took the train to the North End (Little Italy?), went barhopping, ate at Giacomo's (don't even want to talk about it...) and had a nice little fight because I'm a bitch.

Saturday: I took the T to Harvard Square to meet up with Krystle (splatterhouse on LJ) and we shopped, visited her piercer, drank at a swanky bar, saw a man with mystery conches, ate and drank at a little tavern and met a deformed man that went to Amsterdam. Met Joe in the city and drove home. Then Kitty Hoynes (but of course! What weekend is complete without it?)

Sunday: Hangover and familia. Errrrrrrgh...


I'm glad I get today and tomorrow to recover. I don't even want to move.