esther used to be the type of lover you would never leave... YEAH

Holiday Snark? OH WHY YES VIRGINIA THERE IS A SNARK CLAUS!

1) Oh god, the Christmas music. I've been hearing it since Thanksgiving (care of the therapy department across the hall) and if I heard Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" one more time, I was bound to go crazy. There are only two Christmas songs I can stand/can say I just about ENJOY: "Last Christmas" (more so The Youth Ahead's version, but George Michael is fine as well) and "Baby It's Cold Outside" (which I didn't hear AT ALL this year, aside from the few viewings of "Elf" [LOVE ZOOEY DESCHANEL]). 'Course, Everclear's "Hating You for Christmas" is a perennial fave, but I didn't really have anyone to hate this year so it wasn't quite as fun.

2) I have been going to my grandma's house on Christmas Eve for 21 years now and for those last 21 years I have never eaten the fish (we're pseudo-Italians so my gma makes the seven goddamn fishes). And every year I have to hear "OH MANDY I DIDN'T KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE FISH." Yes grandma, yes you do. You're just senile. (For the record, she also made chicken alfredo [with chicken?]).

3) We all know my grandfather died. I'm sure we were all thinking about how much it sucks he wasn't there. But my dad REALLY didn't have to say "Sure wish Poppie was here" in place of the Grace that Poppie always said. (Grieving does not an appetite make.) I also don't want to continue thinking about it all night - I don't like crying when my boyfriend is trying to give me jewelry.

4) My relatives all think it's not safe to travel overseas (these are the same relatives that work for the government). They also think I will never get a job because of my tattoo and that Obama will be assassinated at his inaugeration. OH MY GOD LOOK IN THE SKY THERE'S A PIG AND IT'S FLYING!

5) Continuing on with my clearly off-base relatives... they implemented this rule that only kids under 18 get gifts from aunts/uncles. But they still buy for eachother. This means a) the adults all got gifts; b) my sister (17) and my youngest cousin (16) both got gifts; and c) Sheena, Jimmy and I watched empty-handed while everyone opened said gifts. I don't care what the fuck political party you're in - that's just not right. Because I'm not a minor and/or married, I don't get a present? HAS MY FAMILY NEVER HEARD OF SECRET SANTA? It's not like there's 50 of us... IGDI D=

Happy fucking holidays bitches.



(In good news, my boyfran got me the prettiest necklace EVAR! DIAMONDS ARE MY BEST FRIEND THIS SEALS THE DEAL.)